Final email from the Philippines- May 17 2015

Everyone, as many of you are aware Elder Cuillard has been having significant back pain from his Jeepney accident about 4 months ago. There are no hospitals in his mission so his mission president flew him to Manila to get an mri. Turns out he has a bulging disc and to vertebra issues so they are sending him home with an honorable release. Depending on how his treatment goes he may have the option to go back out but we are unsure at this point. As you can imagine this was not in his life plan he is struggling trying to understand the Lords will for him but his faith is strong he seems to have found some peace. He arrives home tomorrow afternoon, the email below was sent this morning, thank you for your support and prayers.

Well first things first I just need to thank my Heavenly Father for this experience that I have been given to serve the people here in Iloilo. To be honest this has been the happiest hardest saddest most spiritual experience of my entire life. I never realized before my mission the growth that could take place in the short time I have been here. I realized that it would happen but I think in my head I thought it would be a little like efy or something.. boy was I wrong. The refiners fire is a real thing and I would just like to testify of the power of it and if we let the one who has the hammer and the tools shape us we can become a beautiful piece. To that I can testify as I feel like I went through that process maybe not the same as others but I went through that and it has changed me.

One lesson I also have learned is there are times we need to be willing to accept correction from our father in heaven.. and I know that because I know he has love inspired correction. It’s not for us to become sad or depressed. I love a talk called bearing our burdens with joy. Because how ironic is that with joy? ha how in the world are we suppose to do that? Let me tell you as we are striving and pushing to be the man or woman the lord wants us to be bearing those burdens can become light. Weird as it sounds I Feel that right now even though I feel disappointed and wonder at times why did this happen to me? I remember a talk by pres eyring called mountains to climb which has lifted me through my mission but it says when I at times ask myself why me? I give to myself this rallying cry Remember Him! He is our perfect exemplar of dealing with hard tasks and remember the savior has descended below them all.. art thou greater than he? " this hits me every time. I love that because it’s true. I hope that I never will forget HIM. Because its because of him I have been and will be able to again return to the presence of our father in heaven.. I love him and trust him. 

I want you all to know of my love and to know of my gratitude for all the things you have done for me while I’ve been out and the support, especially my family both grandmas my cousins and uncles and aunts. And my immediate family I love you guys.  I hope you know that I am doing great and am happy besides the situation I know that it’s the lord’s plan and I can’t do anything about it right now so I have faith the lord knows what he is doing and it’s his plan. Well I love you all I’ll be home Tuesday! I would love to hear from you. 

All my love, 

Elder Cuillard